• Time and memory, frozen in crystal

    "Everything feels like your fantasy, a night in your life. Close your eyes to find yourself in a mystic timeline."

  • Toshiyuki Watanabe feat. ORIGA (Voice of Heaven) – 遷宮(メインテーマ)

  • Historia Crux

    Hello! My name is Kerrian. I am a 30-year-old New York native who currently lives in Georgia with my 32-year old Illinois native husband Mark. And our 8-year-old blue tabby furbaby Link. And, if all goes well, a baby girl in Summer 2018. That’s pretty much our little family. ^_^

    When I’m not doing family stuff, I’m usually absorbed in one hobby or another. My hobbies include, but are not limited to, drawing, writing stories, playing video games, playing tabletop RPGs, reading regular novels and graphic novels, watching anime, cooking, decorating and organizing everything, learning new facts,  and finding new music, sci-fi, or fantasy creations to obsess over.

    Overall, I’m just trying to live life to the fullest like everyone else. I’m sending good vibrations to everyone! I want us all to win, so keep fighting! Take care!


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    I pretty much insta-add/follow back everyone unless your screen name has some kind of slur in it or something. Don’t be that person. -_-

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E3: Nintendo & Some Other Awesome Stuff
















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I write like
J. R. R. Tolkien

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

☆彡 I wish, but thanks anyway.

☆彡 So. E3.

  • I am VERY impressed with Watch Dogs, Tomb Raider, The Last of Us, Resident Evil 6, Unfinished Swan, Assassin’s Creed 3, Far Cry 3, and Halo 4. For the record, Ubisoft kicked a lot of ass this year!
  • Of course, I am very happy to see a heroine of African descent starring in a major title. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m referring to Assassin’s Creed III: Liberation. Go watch the trailer.
  • It looks like no The Legend of Zelda, Metroid, Star Fox, or Smash Brothers news from Nintendo this year (outside of Nintendo Land…was it?). I am curious about the new Super Mario and Pikmin games though. ZombiU is definitely interesting. It is the type of game I like to see in the survival horror genre.
  • I want to play Persona 4 Arena. It looks pretty fun!
  • I’m just going to say it. Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale looked boring. I may end up playing it and changing my mind in the future, but it just looks like a shameless SSB knockoff right now. And not even a fun one.
  • I wasn’t too impressed with Kingdom Hearts 3D:Dream Drop Distance either. As much as I love the Kingdom Hearts series, I just can’t bring myself to be excited about this game. Knowing me, I’ll end up purchasing the soundtrack though. The bit of it that I heard so far was fantastic. Anyway, still waiting for Kingdom Hearts 3 on a console.
  • STILL NO VERSUS NEWS. However, Square-Enix blew my mind with that display of their new engine. Agni’s Philosophy was fire. (No pun intended)
  • The Dawnguard DLC makes me want to disintegrate. I need a new 360, and I need a copy of Skyrim…because this isn’t even right.
  • I really want to play the Elder Scrolls MMO. It looks really cool to me.
  • The South Park RPG looks…interesting. The last SP game I played was that FPS-style one on the N64. I forget the name, but it made me laugh a lot as a kid. I wonder if the game will be able to bring that familiar side-splitting South Park humor to such an enjoyable genre. It could be a very good combination if done right.
  • The new Gears of War game was a bit of a surprise. I didn’t hear about it until E3. Then again, I’m always late to gaming news. LOL. The new GoW will be on the cover of this month’s Game Informer, so this should be interesting. I can’t wait to read about it.
  • Gods Among Us looks neat! I definitely have to check that out.

I’m probably forgetting something. I feel like I am. Sorry, it was a lot.

☆彡 For some reason, I can listen to “Ninth Chapter Sky Final” for literally an entire day, and not even get tired of it. I don’t even understand what I like so much about that song. Well…I do love how the Drakengard/Drag-on Dragoon OST is almost chaotic in its song arrangements. Just knowing that they took these aurally detailed classical masterpieces and turned them into the songs on the OST fascinates me endlessly. *sigh* I love instrumental music. I love listening to a song that doesn’t tell me how to think or feel. I can associate a song with anything, and the likeliness is instantly spot on. At the risk of sounding cliche as hell, music is my life.

☆彡I heard DJ Nujabes’ “Luv (sic) pt.2” and Final Fantasy VIII’s “Force Your Way” on the radio this week. I love 88.5 so much.

☆彡 I am constantly being told that Mark and I should have no issue raising one child considering our circumstances. And I guess I should believe it because it is coming from experienced parents, but I am still the type who has to test things for herself before I believe it from another person. So, really, I would have to care for a child for a few weeks or months without any assistance from anyone else before I feel 100% confident about approaching motherhood. Of course, that is super unrealistic. I can’t think of any parent who will say: “Sure. Take my child for two months straight without any interference from me.” They’ll joke about it, but I’m sure I’ll get a call ten minutes later saying: “What is she doing? Are you sure? Fuck it. I’m coming over there.” LOL. And that’s good. It really is. Parents should feel attached to their children. I would be worried if someone is genuinely okay with not seeing their child/children for several weeks or months. Back on point. I will never be 100% confident about becoming a parent, and there are millions of little things I need to change about my life before I am entirely okay with bringing a child here. Take this apartment for example. Link is going through a flea problem, and I would literally kick myself if I let my child get tormented by fleas too. I would also feel very bad for my child if I ever lose my job or my car breaks or…any of those things happen because I bought him/her here without having tons of back up waiting. It is ridiculous to think that I will avoid 100% of the random and unpleasant events that will definitely happen whether or not I have a child, but that’s how I am. -.-

☆彡 I’m really thinking about Xenoblade Chronicles..but I’m also thinking of other things that I can spend $50 on that will do me good in the long run. Not to say that XC won’t do me good in the long run. Video games keep me at peace, and being at peace is not optional for me. However, doing responsible things makes me feel better…and improvement brings me more than just peace. It brings me pride, happiness, and many other things. *sigh* Fuck it. I’m going to bother Mark for his opinions once he wakes up. -_-

That’s about it. It’s been an extremely long week, so I’m going to just enjoy the fuck out of this weekend XDD!

Take care.

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☆彡 E3 is three days away, and I am already pretty pumped up. This may actually be a great year for gaming. Last year was…okay. I was not expecting the Wii U announcement, but I was expecting pretty much everything else. I hope that I experience a lot of surprises this year. As always, I am focused on Square-Enix, Bethesda, Bioware, Atlus, Nintendo, and Microsoft news. I am a bit indifferent to Sony these days because I neither own a PS3 nor a PSP. So, I can’t really get excited over games that I can’t play. Either way, looking forward to some gaming news all week next week!

☆彡 I decided to replace the OS on my laptop (Vista) with Ubuntu. I do not regret it. Vista has to be the WORST effing OS I ever worked with in my life. From the first day that I received my laptop, Vista has been annoying the crap out of me. I hope Ubuntu gives me less of a headache. Of course, I’d rather study Linux a bit more just in case I run into any bugs or errors that I can’t fix. I’ll also like to eventually switch out my hard drive for another. The one I have now is considered one of the worst ones out there…so it’s time to make the change, I would say. Truthfully, this is pretty exciting. I like projects like these. I will basically be modifying my laptop inside and out to create this perfect machine. I only hope it turns out all right.

☆彡 I am reading so much that my eyes are screaming. Why do I do this to myself? *sigh* If I think I have it bad now then I’m going to go blind when I finally purchase every book from the The Journey to the West series. My eyeballs will just melt and roll down my face. Then, knowing Link, he’ll probably eat it. He eats everything that falls on the floor. 😦

☆彡 I have a really bad habit of playing a series in the wrong order. For example, I started Elder Scrolls at Morrowind then Skyrim and now I’m playing Oblivion. I plan to go back to the first two at some point. LOL. I guess it’s not so bad. It’s kind of cool to meet characters in a current game, and then work backwards to figure out their past. That is kind of what is happening with Barenziah. I saw her in Skyrim, read her biography in Oblivion (and was made fun of by Mark for spending three hours in the bookstore like I do IRL), and Mark told me that I can run into her children in Morrowind. Or he believes he ran into them in Morrowind. He can’t remember. But reading about her got me thinking of the stories that I read about Dark Elves (also Drows in DD and Dunmers in ES), and how…fascinating their race is. For a lack of better term, Dark Elves are dicks. It’s the truth. Their entire way of living is based on domination, aggression, and violence. You have to lie, cheat, steal, rape, and murder your way to a higher ranking house (your house is your family basically). And since Dark Elves live in a matriarch society, the Dark Elf women do almost all of the lying, cheating, stealing, raping, and murdering. The men are just there for breeding, following the orders of the household’s matron, and even sacrifices to the Drow goddess. The stories of Drizzt, especially the beginning of his life, explains A LOT about the type of society there. It is like nothing else. The truly fascinating aspect of Dark Elves, though, is how they function away from the Underdark, and on the surface where their habits are not socially acceptable. Few Dark Elves shift lifestyles gracefully. They often stumble through the journey of villain who wants to be a hero to hero who was once a villain. Drizzt had his father to introduce him to righteousness at a young age, but those Dark Elves who had an abrupt shift from Underdark Drow to surface Drow have a hard time grasping things like justice, and honor.

You know, when Brynhildr died on me, I also lost all of my files…including my stories unfortunately. I didn’t really think about that until I had some free time and I wanted to write and I realized: “Oh shit. Everything I worked on is gone, and I didn’t back it up!” LOL. Either way, I could easily rewrite everything, but I don’t feel like doing that right now. I want to take a break from it all by working on another story, and I think a story about a Dark Elf would be fun. On one hand, I have this fear that my story will somehow be too much like Drizzt’s story, but on the other hand I know that the life of a female Drow and a male Drow are nothing alike. Even on the surface, a Dark Elf woman is treated differently than a Dark Elf male. She is feared like any Dark Elf, but at the same time she is often fetishized, and taken advantage of. Drows are highly promiscuous by nature. It is less conscious, and more like an animal in heat. Constantly. So those who fetishize the Dark Elf women tend to play on that biological trait by feigning a desire for long-term relations with them. Dark Elves (like Barenziah) sometimes end up pregnant from these encounters, and they are almost always treated with scorn. A fetish for Dark Elves is not exactly a widely acceptable one. It is usually teamed with shame. A Dark Elf female must have it extremely rough above the surface, you know? Especially knowing that in the Underdark she would be treated like royalty, yet on the surface she is treated like a slave and a prostitute.

Once more, it’s all very interesting…so I should stop talking about it, and start writing about it. >_<

☆彡 If Au Gratin is wrong then I don’t want to be right. Seriously, it’s one of those rare foods that I enjoy preparing, making, and eating. I’d rather not give it up. Ever. :/

☆彡 This is the type of thing I enjoy doing on the weekends, but I don’t do it enough because I waste too much time sleeping -_-:

  1. Perform hot oil treatment: Whenever I do this, my hair actually looks nice. I heat up about 1/4 cup of olive oil and 1 tsp. of honey, and then I let it cool a little. Once it is cool enough to touch, I add one egg. I mix it, put it in my hair, wrap my hair, cover it with a shower cap, and wait for 30-60 minutes. After that it’s just shampoo and conditioning as usual.
  2. Face masque: I use Queen Helene’s Mint Julep masque. It burns a little at first because of the mint, but once that stops it feels really…cool. Like breeze. 🙂
  3. Aromatherapy: Basically, light something that smells good. REALLY good. 😀
  4. Read: I’ll usually grab a book or magazine, and just read until the hair treatment and face masque is ready.

I wish I would do things like this more when I have free time. I’m sure if I took better care of things like my hair, skin, and body, I wouldn’t have to do extra tedious things later on to undo the flaws that accumulate from my lack of maintenance.

☆彡 The first thing I’m going to do when I get a house is just…sit there. In the middle of the living room, bedroom, kitchen—whatever. I just want to sit there, and take in the fact that I will never have to deal with sharing any part of my sanctuary with obnoxious individuals ever again. No more stomping. No more slamming. No more loudness and yelling. It’ll just be the sound of the things that I love: Mark laughing, Link meowing, the wind outside, our musics, our TV shows, our games. Just…no intrusion from the outside world at all. You know, I don’t get jealous often, but when I hear about someone getting a house of their own, I do feel jealous. I am so happy for them, but at the same time I imagine all the exciting things they get to experience in their new home, and I have to come home to this…place. Not home or sanctuary, just place, and deal with these…irritating people on a daily basis. *sigh* Maybe I’m just ranting, but I need to get it off my chest. I hate apartment life, and I would rather work 5 jobs and live in a house than work one, and continue living next to or below or above the same people I avoid the moment I step foot outside my door.

☆彡 There is no cowardliness in picking and choosing your fights. Only rabid animals lunge at everything that looks remotely threatening. You should only take part in a fight that will improve you if you win, and teach you a valuable lesson if you lose. I don’t see the point in responding to every insecure nobody, or confrontational moron that comes my way. In fact, people who prey on others don’t need attention. It just encourages their behavior. So…just move on to something else. I know a lot of times I come across someone who is upset, and he/she will say: “So-and-so said I was this,” or “So-and-so called me that,” and my response is always: “Fuck that person, don’t stoop to their level, and keep your head up.” You’re not the loser wasting your time trying to find ways to make someone else feel bad or uncomfortable or unhappy, you know? The moment someone criticizes you, you should laugh. If you’re too angry or upset to laugh then that is fine. Cry, punch a punching bag, kick a tree, sleep it off. Whatever. But when you are done, you remember who you are, and you put that anger towards something that will benefit you and the people you love, not someone who hates you. I truly believe that everyone is capable of amazing things, but if someone wants to waste their potential to hate on the potential of others then ignore him/her. Just be yourself. Or, as some say, “do you”. It’s all that you can do, you know? Just fight for the right reasons, and you will always conquer the things worth conquering in the end.

Well, that’s about it. Next time, I fangirl over E3. >_>

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