• Time and memory, frozen in crystal

    "Everything feels like your fantasy, a night in your life. Close your eyes to find yourself in a mystic timeline."

  • Toshiyuki Watanabe feat. ORIGA (Voice of Heaven) – 遷宮(メインテーマ)

  • Historia Crux

    Hello! My name is Kerrian. I am a 30-year-old New York native who currently lives in Georgia with my 32-year old Illinois native husband Mark. And our 8-year-old blue tabby furbaby Link. And, if all goes well, a baby girl in Summer 2018. That’s pretty much our little family. ^_^

    When I’m not doing family stuff, I’m usually absorbed in one hobby or another. My hobbies include, but are not limited to, drawing, writing stories, playing video games, playing tabletop RPGs, reading regular novels and graphic novels, watching anime, cooking, decorating and organizing everything, learning new facts,  and finding new music, sci-fi, or fantasy creations to obsess over.

    Overall, I’m just trying to live life to the fullest like everyone else. I’m sending good vibrations to everyone! I want us all to win, so keep fighting! Take care!


    Lilypie Maternity tickers



    I pretty much insta-add/follow back everyone unless your screen name has some kind of slur in it or something. Don’t be that person. -_-

    NNID: kerrian
    3DS Friend Code: 1693-6646-2394
    Steam: themoonrabbit



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Vita, Video Games, Venice, and Vipertek

  Remember how I was debating about getting a PS4, Wii U, or the 3DS? Yeah, I didn’t decide on any of those.


Instead I did some research and decided that getting a PS Vita would be best. (1) It is portable which is great because I’m rarely home except for the weekends, and (2) I can play a shitload of PS One classics without having to deal with my PS2 giving up mid-gameplay. So, needless to say, I’m excited! I got this combo pack with a free Borderlands 2 download and 8 GB memory card for $200. Good deal. And when I do eventually get a PS4 I can link the systems to do more nifty things. I’m looking forward to that. ^___^


Getting this game was a must. I’m 100% here for Final Fantasy X, especially since I lost my master file on the PS2 years back. It was… frustrating. I was so proud of that file because Yuna was the strongest melee fighter in my party and it was fucking hilarious at times. Anyhoo, restarting again doesn’t bother me. It’s high time that I did another FFX replay. As for FFX-2 I’ll might replay it for the battle system, but I’m not making any promises.



From top to bottom: FFX HD (with a FFX-2 that I didn’t install yet), Chrono Cross, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy IX, Final Fantasy VI, Bust-A-Move 4, and Xenogears. I’m not going to bother installing Borderlands 2 since I already have it on the 360. And it’s huge in terms of memory usage. Of course there are some Final Fantasy games missing from this collection but I’m trying not to overwhelm myself anymore than I already have. I didn’t think I would be overwhelmed until I played Xenogears for an hour turned it off to play Chrono Cross up to Arni Village, turned that off to start on FFIX, turned that off to play Chrono Cross again, turned that off to play FFX, and… yeah… I think each time I complete a Final Fantasy then I’m going to move on to another. FFVII will be last because I just did a replay last year. So, I’ll tackle IX or VI, then download VIII since I never finished my Steam playthrough, and keep repeating that pattern until I have everything from I to X. As for other PS games I’m just going to take it easy for a little while. It’s one thing to get games like Bust-A-Move that are fun ways to shoot the shit, but RPGs take a lot of focus. At least for me. *sigh* This is all sounds like first world problems, doesn’t it. LOL. Yeah, I’m going to stop and just say–overwhelming or not–I am over the moon about having these games around to play again. Except for Xenogears. This is my first time playing Xenogears (so ashamed ;_;), so I can’t say “again”. But I can say it is extremely awesome and I already adore Citan. Please don’t disappoint me. >_<






I couldn’t walk away from this sketchbook because, well, it’s obviously aesthetically pleasing, but I also kept hearing “Tour of Venice” and “Dream of Venice” when I looked at it. After I told Mark about that he advised me to draw Ezio leaping across one of the buildings in the background. Yes! I’m going to do it. LOL. Anyway, we had a long discussion afterwards about the fact that we have never been overseas together, and while it seems like the obvious choice would be Japan I am leaning more towards Italy. I want to do a sort of tour, going from Rome to Venice to Florence. I mean, we did meet in Latin class after all. It would not be a meaningless trip when we put into consideration all the aspects of Italian history that we both love and can thank for bringing us together. So, that’s it. I want to go to Italy. Even if I can just go to one city then I will go to one city. Half of me is screaming “Rome!” while the other is like “Dude, Venice has boat rides and the Carnival of Venice!” I think if I remind Mark that he can wear his beloved plague doctor mask for hours at a time then he will be up for Venice too. Okay, Venice it is. I’m going to start saving and planning for it. I also need to consider putting aside my other language lessons in order to start working on Italian. I’ve taken a swing at Italian in the past, and all of those years of Latin makes it a tad easier to understand than say Japanese or German. I’m excited. I only hope it works out better than other plans I’ve made. LOL




Last but not least my first taser, Vipertek. I feel so much better now that I have this. Four days a week I have to drop Mark off at work at three in the morning, and that is not the most comforting time to be outside on your own–even if it’s only a 10-second run from the parking lot to your apartment. It is slightly terrifying to own though. I’m always worried that I’ll accidentally turn it on somehow and electrocute myself. LOL. I don’t even have to do something moronic like testing it on myself to know that it will hurt. We armed it yesterday to see how it would look, and it was LOUD. Sparkly but loud. I can only compare the sound to the crack of a whip. I shrieked but Mark thought it was cool. Then again, this is the same guy who spent his birthday money and giftcards on knives, so he would. -_-

Well, I’m off. Later in the day I want to pick up some Italian language books, but before that I have to look into getting another bookshelf, doing some serious spring cleaning, getting groceries in the house, and just being semi-productive this weekend. In between I will squeeze in some gaming time. Since I want to play so many games I will have to dedicate 30-60 minutes on each game. A little Xenogears there, a little FFIX there, a little Bioshock Infinite after that, a little Assassin’s Creed 2 too. Oh! Gold members get a free AC: Black Flag and Army of Two on the 16th. DUUUUUUUDDDEEE. All Mark and I ever talk about these days are those fucking naval battle clips we see in Black Flag. I can’t wait. ; u ;

Really, it’s nice that I am getting back into video games like. It’s not like I ever stopped playing between the age of five and… now, but recent years have been kind of “eh”, you know? I’m so into it now that I am returning to that point where I will draw fanart and stuff like that again. It feels good. I love getting so passionate about something that it inspires me in other departments of my life. Yes, time is scarce these days, especially with this whole project of ours to make our apartment not look borderline condemned anymore (LMAO), but… I’m hopeful. Things are getting better in every way imaginable. I’m happy. No, more than that, I’m pumped!


093: The Beast Is Back


If we don’t greet each other like this then what’s the point.

I’m going to start using ‘Read More’ cuts on these entries because they can get pretty long at times. Like now.



Guys, there is actually a playable demo coming on March 2015! With the Type-0 game!

…Almost cried. Almost.







067: The Stone That The Builder Refused



☆彡 *casually leaves Minecraft on for the music*

★彡 Awesome Shows Netflix Added To Instant: The Boondocks, Adventure Time, Fringe, Robot Chicken, Metalocalypse, The Regular Show, Aqua Teen Hunger, Powerpuff Girls, Samurai Jack, Johnny Brave, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Dexter’s Laboratory, Cow and Chicken, Justice League, Justice League Unlimited, The Venture Brothers, and…I believe that is it.  *slam dunks productivity in the trash can*

☆彡 Every time I watch Tron: Legacy, I remember this couple who sat behind us in the theater that kept complaining about Jeff Bridges “using too much botox” during the scenes with Young!Flynn and Clu. It wasn’t until Flynn, played by the actual Jeff Bridges, showed up that they realized it was CG. To this day, Mark and I still say things like: “What’s with all of the botox. Wow, Jeff Bridges. How dare you. You don’t even look human anymore.” LOL. I will give them some credit for saying Jeff Bridges is cool…because he is cool.

★彡 Unfortunately, Square-Enix adding Final Fantasy X-2 to the Final Fantasy X remake does nothing for me. I love Final Fantasy X like no one’s business, and the Final Fantasy X-2 battle system was magnificent, but neither game is enough to make me want to buy a Vita. Of course, if a Vita happens to fall into my lap then I will pick up the games just for old time’s sake…but it’s not enough on it’s own like FFX was in my decision to get a PS2. Really, I am still waiting for SE to give Final Fantasy VIII and Final Fantasy IX some love–IF they ever get any. I mean, we already know FFVII gets an infinite amount of love from SE. The Final Fantasy N Generation games were re-released on the Nintendo DS, Final Fantasy X received a sequel, Final Fantasy XII received a sequel as well, FFIX is ongoing, and the same can be said for FFXIII. VIII and IX though have pretty much vanished outside of Dissidia. I already know that FFIX is often overlooked because it doesn’t “look like a FF game”…whatever the fuck that means…but it is a fantastic game. The same for FFVIII. So, I don’t know…I wish there was an explanation for why those games aren’t receiving anything like sequels, spin-offs, or remakes besides the “it’s not popular enough” reply I tend to hear.

☆彡 Perhaps this confirms my theory that I am aging too fast, but I am growing wearier of the internet by the day. Surprisingly, it is not the social aspect of the internet that bothers me. It is the information overload. I don’t have anything against information I intentionally learn through research or speaking to others. That, to me, is “good” information. “Bad” information is wasting precious memory on things I didn’t mean to memorize. It actually saddens me when I don’t remember the capital of a country, but I remember what so-and-so ate last year. My brain is like a sponge, and information is like liquid. I really can’t filter what type of information my brain wants to absorb, the same way you can’t filter what types of liquid a sponge chooses to absorb. That is the best metaphor that I can offer. Honestly, I do believe my digital activity will get to a point where I only update this blog and check social networks once or twice a month. As much as I enjoy trying out different websites and catching up on things, I am exhausting myself for no reason. It’s better to work towards retaining useful information in the end…even if it isn’t “fun”. Yes, yes, I am just a big ol’ wet blanket. What can I say? Time changes things. Naturally, I am not excluded from that.

★彡 If someone can make millions off of a Twilight fan fiction, I really have no excuse at all.

☆彡 I thought buying 120 crayons would be fun…but I accidentally overwhelmed myself. I spend the last three hours organizing them into sections based on their shade and labeling each color in my sketch book (draw and color a circle with a crayon, write the name of the crayon I used with a pencil, repeat). Now I am attempting to memorize what color coordinates with what name so I won’t accidentally confuse vivid tangerine with outrageous orange or neon carrot or atomic orange. * disintegrates* If only I had this level of organization towards shit that actually matters.

★彡 If I ever doubted that my attention span was pathetic, Neave TV curb stomped that doubt.

☆彡 The Sailor Moon anime has been delayed. I AM CRYING TWIN WATERFALLS (Excel Saga moar). I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. Genius cannot be rushed, right? So, if Queen Naoka says it is not ready then it is not ready. Also, I am side-eyeing people who are posting faulty-ass Sailor Moon artwork and saying that it’s “leaked” from the anime. Fans, please check around before getting your hopes up about anything. A good place to start is here: https://twitter.com/OsabuP_English. (S)he is the editor of Sailor Moon, and works directly with Naoka Takeuchi. If anyone is going to post official stuff for the anime it is her…or him…I’m not sure. But follow that for updates. News is slow, yes, but it is better than false news.

★彡 500 years later, I am finally playing Scott Pilgrim VS The World. It is incredibly nostalgic. It makes me want to bust out my Super Nintendo and relive the frustration of cartridges.


★彡 Lavender incense. *u*

☆彡 There is such a thing as “acquaintance zone” now? Wow. How does that even work? “I talked to my co-worker for ten seconds, yet she rejected my slumber party invitation. I can’t believe she acquaintance zoned me. What gives?

★彡 “Some random person with no proof to back up their statements and no certifications to support their credibility said it. Therefore, it must be true.” — the type of shit I put up with


Well, on scale of one to grumpy cat, I am Oscar the Grouch. So, it’s time for me to depart and get some fucking tea. 😀


P.S. Posting sassy Tuvok in that last entry made me realize that Tom Paris’ expressions are great too. So, I will close this with a Tom Paris expression appreciation thing.



Paris’ “Okay?” face.


Paris’ watching-someone-getting-their-butt-touched face. (Long story)


Paris’ seriously-who-the-fuck-falls-asleep-on-the-bridge-lol-nvm face

062: Hyperballad


☆彡 I found out today that Bjork and RZA are huge fans of one another, and even did some tracks together. I almost died.

★彡 Speaking of near death experiences, Hyrule Historia is almost here! I don’t even know how to handle its arrival. I’m just going to stand there and let myself spontaneously explode. Sounds like a plan. By the way, thanks to my wonderful husband for ordering the Hyrule Historia in the first place and making us New York strip steaks for dinner last night.  Thanks, my precious.  ♥w♥

☆彡 I was introduced to Hentai Kamen today. I can’t even contribute anything to that.

★彡 No Berkserk manga or Berserk movie updates yet. I am still not entirely sure how I should react to that…or the Berserk fanbase’s speculation that Miura may die before Berserk is ever done. Yeah…let’s not right now.

☆彡 I wonder if our recent brush with an asteroid will encourage people to put more focus on science. One can only hope.

★彡 It is my dream to write like Ayn Rand. Not in subject but in composition. Of course, it is always best to develop one’s own sense of literary “style”, so I should stop striving to write like other authors. I just have to find my own style. Still, no harm in using someone so talented as inspiration, right? I love Atlas Shrugged. It is one of those long books where I don’t have to worry about being dragged along for days. Every sentence is enjoyable to me.

☆彡 The “wildest” thing I have done in my life is play hooky…a lot. Even then, I spent most of my time in bookstores, walking around parks, or sight-seeing. I am really a boring person. I don’t know why so many believe that I go home and turn into some type of party animal.

★彡 It depresses me how many people see TV shows as a legitimate source of research. Documentaries and educational programs are one thing, but the news is usually biased and other TV shows are fictional. So, yeah…please don’t quote things like Seinfeld or Fox News in a debate. I will just gather my things and leave.

☆彡 This week has been watching-movies-that-I-saw-in-my-childhood-but-it-didn’t-make-sense-so-now-I-am-watching-them-as-an-adult-and-they-make-sense week. It is mighty fascinating.

★彡 I am happy to say that I am doing well with my pile of shame.  I even did progress in Bioshock and Tales of Vesperia…the two 360 games that I haven’t touched in almost two years. That makes me incredibly happy.

☆彡 By the way, Rita Mordio is seriously my spirit animal. If I was an RPG character, I would probably be her…mixed with some Kaine. Yes, that is definitely me. Wow.

★彡 Mark asked me how I would react if our future child wanted to pose nude or have sex for a movie/TV/magazine. Honestly, I would be disturbed by it, but all I can really do in the end is say: “I support you and I respect you, just don’t ask me to look at it.” The same mentality goes for anyone I know. Please allow me to have the illusion that you are always in clothes and you never have sex.

☆彡 If it’s my day off and I don’t stay up the night prior until the sun rises, I feel like I wasted my day off.

★彡 You know, calling me stuck up and fat didn’t change me the last 5,000 times you said it, why do you think saying those things 5,000 more times will do anything? I almost get a sadistic joy out of being myself and watching you get so wound up over it. I literally have to do nothing but wake up, and you get pissed at me. LOL. It’s amazing. It really is.

☆彡 “Should I watch Grave of the Firefl–” “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.” DO NOT. IT WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE.

★彡 Final Fantasy Versus XIII is going to be great. I can just feel it. And if it’s not then…I don’t know…I’ll ram my head into a brick and curse Square-Enix for the rest of my life.

I am so incoherent right now but I’m hardly awake and I can’t sleep, so that’s my excuse. Yay~ *flies away*

050: Some Nights


☆彡 I love Frodo’s “I don’t?” reaction. In other news, Elijah Wood never ages. I call sorcery.

★彡 50th entry! *tosses confetti all around* Actually, it’s not really my 50th entry. Thanks to all the unnumbered and private entries, I have around 70-80 entries altogether. Still, it’s a random blog-related landmark. I’ll probably post something special…which, on the internet, usually means I’ll finally post a drawing.

☆彡 As happy as I am to finally learn SQL, I was hoping to learn it at my own pace, and with less pressure. I guess we can’t always get what we want, can we?

★彡 I’ve been trying to download Skyrim since Monday. It is now Wednesday night, and Skyrim is at exactly 50%. I will be lucky if I can get it to 60% by midnight. *sigh* I’m not liking this at all. One, the 360 won’t allow me to play games or watch movies while the download is happening…which sucks. I haven’t played or watched much because of it. Two, I was hoping to spend the entire weekend under a blanket, playing Skyrim, and not sitting around for the game to download. WHY?!

☆彡 My biggest gripe with winter: dryness. My skin is always ashy, and my scalp is as dry as sand regardless of what I do. So, that means I am constantly putting on lotion, and constantly washing my hair. Pain in the ass. I know six months from now I’ll be begging for winter again, but I’m not pleased with it right now.

★彡 It doesn’t matter how bad my day is, “Temple of the Drifting Sands” will change that.

☆彡 Throwing a tantrum is not a sign of strength. If a newborn baby can exit the womb, and immediately scream out of anger/fear then what makes you think an adult who screams whenever (s)he is angry or afraid is strong? It takes nothing to act that way. To consider that type of behavior “courageous” is an insult to the term. True strength will always come from mastering yourself. When you learn to master your own weaknesses, and use that ability to help yourself and others through difficult challenges, then you have the right to call yourself strong or courageous. Otherwise, you can continue yelling at people every ten seconds because you have the emotional intelligence of a toddler. I need no lessons on emotions from you.

★彡 I want Versus XIII just as badly as the next FF fan, but it is annoying having to listen to the “Oh, you can make an update for (random Square Enix game) but not Versus” rant with each SE-related news. I haven’t given up or anything, but all three Mass Effect games came out during the time I was waiting for Versus. That says a lot. It’s time to just…leave it alone, and let SE handle it.

Also, can we take a moment to acknowledge that Lightning is fantabulous in this picture? Wow, she is pretty much replacing every FF heroine I like at this point. I don’t even know why. I just adore her. *____*


☆彡 Dennou Coil has been in the top ten range of my “animes to watch” list for a very long time. Why haven’t I watched it yet? I’ve listened to the soundtrack…tirelessly…yet I haven’t watched the anime. Typical. -_-

★彡 When I don’t draw for a long time, drawing again becomes really unfamiliar to me. Eventually, I do pick up on old patterns again, but it is still a strange feeling. More disheartening than strange. I sometimes think if I go without drawing long enough, it is possible for me to forget completely.

☆彡 I have a neighbor who just has the WORST timing. When I’m on time, she is nowhere to be seen. When I’m running late, she will pop out of nowhere to start talking about random things. She’s nice, and I feel bad for always being in a rush when we speak, but come on. *sigh* I guess I should stop being antisocial, and maybe offer an opportunity where she can talk to me as much as she wants to. Wait…what am I saying? What’s happening to me? D:

★彡 With each passing day, I ponder the purpose in pursuing beauty. It looks less and less like something that is relative to me, and more and more like a obsolete step in the human mating ritual. Well, not universally obsolete. Of course not. But for someone who has no desire to mate and has already found a mate, beauty looks more like a hobby and less like a necessity. It’s…something I’ll do when I’m bored enough, or when money is so abundant that I can’t think of anything else to put it towards. Otherwise, no. Not really. Maybe in the future I’ll be more drawn to it.

☆彡 Eva Amurri looks like a clone of her mother (Susan Sarandon). It scares me sometimes when I see her in movies.

★彡 I miss having an entire week and a half off around this time of year. Now I only have one day off next week, and another one day off the week after. The upside is money. Money is nice. The downside is being at work…mostly doing nothing because all of our clients have like a week and a half off. Balderdash!

…I don’t know what else to add. I need to go wash my hair. -.-



Skyrim finished downloading~!


Of course, it finished right at my bed time, but yeah…it’s done…and I’ll have to enjoy it tomorrow. :’)

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☆彡 I say with a heavy heart that I am getting close to the end of Deep Space Nine; however, I still have that Voyager and Enterprise marathon waiting for me. After that, I have to begin again. I can’t just watch Enterprise and not continue on The Original Series. After Archer must come Kirk. After Kirk must come Picard. After Picard must come Sisko. After Sisko must come Janeway. Of course, I could just stop at Janeway…but Voyager is not the last series. Enterprise is. So, I have to continue on to Enterprise/Archer again. I didn’t make the rules. I just live them…and therefore must watch Star Trek in an infinite loop.

…I’m not complaining.

★彡 Something ghastly occurred recently that actually made me scream like a little bitch. As I’ve been nagging about incessantly, my XBox 360 is broken. So, one day I felt like watching Thunderball, and I decided to use my PS2 to watch it. No, I don’t have a DVD player…but after his incident I plan to get one immediately. I digress. In the PS2 was my Final Fantasy VI, and its case was packed up in a box, so I decide to put the game in the Thunderball case, and put Thunderball in the PS2. All seemed well until, as always, my PS2 decided to be an asshole and not play it. It likes to randomly select DVDs it feels like playing. For example, this week it feels like playing The Hangover, Inglorious Basterds, and Terminator: Salvation. Last week, it refused to play Terminatior: Salvation. Next week, it’ll probably refuse to play The Hangover or Inglorious Basterds. Fuckery like that. I digress again. After dealing with my PS2’s fuckery for a good ten minutes, I got annoyed and decide: “Fuck it. I’ll just play Final Fantasy VI.” Remove Thunderball from PS2. No problem. Remove Final Fantasy VI from Thunderball case…and it fucking cracks across the center. Out of fucking nowhere. Thus, the little bitch scream. Then again, it was more like a pterodactyl than a little bitch. Even Mark was both surprised and tickled by the nonhuman noise that came out of me. Naturally, I was not happy about it. I will have to order a new copy of the Final Fantasy Anthology just to replace it. *sigh* Oh well. I will just use this as an excuse to buy another copy of VIII, Chronicles, and Origins too…because I need to have like five copies of every damn Final Fantasy I have. It’s not for fangirl reasons. It’s because I am cursed when it comes to Final Fantasy. Each Final Fantasy game I bought has been replaced at least once…save for Final Fantasy X-2, Final Fantasy XII, and Final Fantasy XIII. Even Tactics needs to be replaced. Then again, I sold my first copy of Final Fantasy XII to a friend because he really wanted the special edition version…so, the copy I have now isn’t the original one I had. Yep…fucking cursed.

☆彡 I’ve been assigned with the task of writing our company’s newsletters. I’m nervous as hell, but I’ll do my best. After all, this is the first time I can recall standing at the helm of a company’s tasks. I should be honored instead of afraid, right? It’s the least I can do. They gave me ham as a Thanksgiving gift. No, not a couple slices. AN ENTIRE HAM. I don’t even want to know what  they’re going to give away for Christmas, but my guess is it’s going to be awesome.

★彡 Most animals are defensive eaters–meaning that they would eat food just to prevent another animal or person from eating it. So, if you have an animal who won’t eat, that is the first thing to try. If that doesn’t work and (s)he won’t eat for more than six hours, (s)he is probably sick. Luckily, Link is not sick. He just refuses to eat whenever he sees human food, and he will immediately change his mind when he thinks we’re trying to eat his food.

☆彡 Yoga is fucking awesome. My lower back has been tormenting me all week, but a couple minutes of the cobra and downward dog pose helped a lot. The rest will have to be slept off, but I’ll be good as new in no time!

★彡 Get this: I am working endlessly on this story I wrote for Nanowrimo, but I have zero intention of submitting it to Nanowrimo. It’s just not the type of story I feel like putting on display. What if, out of the fucking blue, I get recognition for it. Then I’ll have a bunch of people reading something that I’m not even close to being proud of. It’s not even worthy of being considered a rough draft. I…do want to continue it. Definitely. I’m having a blast with it to be honest. I just don’t want to share it. Why do I do this to myself?

☆彡  I’ve had “Blood” by In This Moment on loop for a long ass time. It’s not until recently that I realized this song reminds me so much of Jack from Mass Effect. Posting that shit.

★彡 What is this about Worf getting his own TV series? Holy. Shit. THIS CALLS FOR A WORF PARTY. Here is Worf feeling things. I’m going to start watching some of these movies I got from Redbox. One was free. One was 75 cents. Good deal.








Just in case anyone forgot how perfect Fang is…and because I’ve been fangirling over Lightning more than Fang lately, and I feel like she deserves some love. >_<;

As always, Fang haters are gonna squirm; Fang haters should shut up and come quiet if they want to keep breathing; etc.

BTW, I am still fangirling over Agni’s philosophy. If you haven’t seen the tech demo yet, please watch it. Even if you’re not a big Final Fantasy fan but a massive video game fan, you should see the power of Square-Enix’s new engine. It’s marvelous :o!

Either way, here is Agni (I am assuming). Of course, she’s as beautiful as Final Fantasy women tend to be. And just as strong too!

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☆彡 E3 is three days away, and I am already pretty pumped up. This may actually be a great year for gaming. Last year was…okay. I was not expecting the Wii U announcement, but I was expecting pretty much everything else. I hope that I experience a lot of surprises this year. As always, I am focused on Square-Enix, Bethesda, Bioware, Atlus, Nintendo, and Microsoft news. I am a bit indifferent to Sony these days because I neither own a PS3 nor a PSP. So, I can’t really get excited over games that I can’t play. Either way, looking forward to some gaming news all week next week!

☆彡 I decided to replace the OS on my laptop (Vista) with Ubuntu. I do not regret it. Vista has to be the WORST effing OS I ever worked with in my life. From the first day that I received my laptop, Vista has been annoying the crap out of me. I hope Ubuntu gives me less of a headache. Of course, I’d rather study Linux a bit more just in case I run into any bugs or errors that I can’t fix. I’ll also like to eventually switch out my hard drive for another. The one I have now is considered one of the worst ones out there…so it’s time to make the change, I would say. Truthfully, this is pretty exciting. I like projects like these. I will basically be modifying my laptop inside and out to create this perfect machine. I only hope it turns out all right.

☆彡 I am reading so much that my eyes are screaming. Why do I do this to myself? *sigh* If I think I have it bad now then I’m going to go blind when I finally purchase every book from the The Journey to the West series. My eyeballs will just melt and roll down my face. Then, knowing Link, he’ll probably eat it. He eats everything that falls on the floor. 😦

☆彡 I have a really bad habit of playing a series in the wrong order. For example, I started Elder Scrolls at Morrowind then Skyrim and now I’m playing Oblivion. I plan to go back to the first two at some point. LOL. I guess it’s not so bad. It’s kind of cool to meet characters in a current game, and then work backwards to figure out their past. That is kind of what is happening with Barenziah. I saw her in Skyrim, read her biography in Oblivion (and was made fun of by Mark for spending three hours in the bookstore like I do IRL), and Mark told me that I can run into her children in Morrowind. Or he believes he ran into them in Morrowind. He can’t remember. But reading about her got me thinking of the stories that I read about Dark Elves (also Drows in DD and Dunmers in ES), and how…fascinating their race is. For a lack of better term, Dark Elves are dicks. It’s the truth. Their entire way of living is based on domination, aggression, and violence. You have to lie, cheat, steal, rape, and murder your way to a higher ranking house (your house is your family basically). And since Dark Elves live in a matriarch society, the Dark Elf women do almost all of the lying, cheating, stealing, raping, and murdering. The men are just there for breeding, following the orders of the household’s matron, and even sacrifices to the Drow goddess. The stories of Drizzt, especially the beginning of his life, explains A LOT about the type of society there. It is like nothing else. The truly fascinating aspect of Dark Elves, though, is how they function away from the Underdark, and on the surface where their habits are not socially acceptable. Few Dark Elves shift lifestyles gracefully. They often stumble through the journey of villain who wants to be a hero to hero who was once a villain. Drizzt had his father to introduce him to righteousness at a young age, but those Dark Elves who had an abrupt shift from Underdark Drow to surface Drow have a hard time grasping things like justice, and honor.

You know, when Brynhildr died on me, I also lost all of my files…including my stories unfortunately. I didn’t really think about that until I had some free time and I wanted to write and I realized: “Oh shit. Everything I worked on is gone, and I didn’t back it up!” LOL. Either way, I could easily rewrite everything, but I don’t feel like doing that right now. I want to take a break from it all by working on another story, and I think a story about a Dark Elf would be fun. On one hand, I have this fear that my story will somehow be too much like Drizzt’s story, but on the other hand I know that the life of a female Drow and a male Drow are nothing alike. Even on the surface, a Dark Elf woman is treated differently than a Dark Elf male. She is feared like any Dark Elf, but at the same time she is often fetishized, and taken advantage of. Drows are highly promiscuous by nature. It is less conscious, and more like an animal in heat. Constantly. So those who fetishize the Dark Elf women tend to play on that biological trait by feigning a desire for long-term relations with them. Dark Elves (like Barenziah) sometimes end up pregnant from these encounters, and they are almost always treated with scorn. A fetish for Dark Elves is not exactly a widely acceptable one. It is usually teamed with shame. A Dark Elf female must have it extremely rough above the surface, you know? Especially knowing that in the Underdark she would be treated like royalty, yet on the surface she is treated like a slave and a prostitute.

Once more, it’s all very interesting…so I should stop talking about it, and start writing about it. >_<

☆彡 If Au Gratin is wrong then I don’t want to be right. Seriously, it’s one of those rare foods that I enjoy preparing, making, and eating. I’d rather not give it up. Ever. :/

☆彡 This is the type of thing I enjoy doing on the weekends, but I don’t do it enough because I waste too much time sleeping -_-:

  1. Perform hot oil treatment: Whenever I do this, my hair actually looks nice. I heat up about 1/4 cup of olive oil and 1 tsp. of honey, and then I let it cool a little. Once it is cool enough to touch, I add one egg. I mix it, put it in my hair, wrap my hair, cover it with a shower cap, and wait for 30-60 minutes. After that it’s just shampoo and conditioning as usual.
  2. Face masque: I use Queen Helene’s Mint Julep masque. It burns a little at first because of the mint, but once that stops it feels really…cool. Like breeze. 🙂
  3. Aromatherapy: Basically, light something that smells good. REALLY good. 😀
  4. Read: I’ll usually grab a book or magazine, and just read until the hair treatment and face masque is ready.

I wish I would do things like this more when I have free time. I’m sure if I took better care of things like my hair, skin, and body, I wouldn’t have to do extra tedious things later on to undo the flaws that accumulate from my lack of maintenance.

☆彡 The first thing I’m going to do when I get a house is just…sit there. In the middle of the living room, bedroom, kitchen—whatever. I just want to sit there, and take in the fact that I will never have to deal with sharing any part of my sanctuary with obnoxious individuals ever again. No more stomping. No more slamming. No more loudness and yelling. It’ll just be the sound of the things that I love: Mark laughing, Link meowing, the wind outside, our musics, our TV shows, our games. Just…no intrusion from the outside world at all. You know, I don’t get jealous often, but when I hear about someone getting a house of their own, I do feel jealous. I am so happy for them, but at the same time I imagine all the exciting things they get to experience in their new home, and I have to come home to this…place. Not home or sanctuary, just place, and deal with these…irritating people on a daily basis. *sigh* Maybe I’m just ranting, but I need to get it off my chest. I hate apartment life, and I would rather work 5 jobs and live in a house than work one, and continue living next to or below or above the same people I avoid the moment I step foot outside my door.

☆彡 There is no cowardliness in picking and choosing your fights. Only rabid animals lunge at everything that looks remotely threatening. You should only take part in a fight that will improve you if you win, and teach you a valuable lesson if you lose. I don’t see the point in responding to every insecure nobody, or confrontational moron that comes my way. In fact, people who prey on others don’t need attention. It just encourages their behavior. So…just move on to something else. I know a lot of times I come across someone who is upset, and he/she will say: “So-and-so said I was this,” or “So-and-so called me that,” and my response is always: “Fuck that person, don’t stoop to their level, and keep your head up.” You’re not the loser wasting your time trying to find ways to make someone else feel bad or uncomfortable or unhappy, you know? The moment someone criticizes you, you should laugh. If you’re too angry or upset to laugh then that is fine. Cry, punch a punching bag, kick a tree, sleep it off. Whatever. But when you are done, you remember who you are, and you put that anger towards something that will benefit you and the people you love, not someone who hates you. I truly believe that everyone is capable of amazing things, but if someone wants to waste their potential to hate on the potential of others then ignore him/her. Just be yourself. Or, as some say, “do you”. It’s all that you can do, you know? Just fight for the right reasons, and you will always conquer the things worth conquering in the end.

Well, that’s about it. Next time, I fangirl over E3. >_>

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