• Time and memory, frozen in crystal

    "Everything feels like your fantasy, a night in your life. Close your eyes to find yourself in a mystic timeline."

  • Toshiyuki Watanabe feat. ORIGA (Voice of Heaven) – 遷宮(メインテーマ)

  • Historia Crux

    Hello! My name is Kerrian. I am a 30-year-old New York native who currently lives in Georgia with my 32-year old Illinois native husband Mark. And our 8-year-old blue tabby furbaby Link. And, if all goes well, a baby girl in Summer 2018. That’s pretty much our little family. ^_^

    When I’m not doing family stuff, I’m usually absorbed in one hobby or another. My hobbies include, but are not limited to, drawing, writing stories, playing video games, playing tabletop RPGs, reading regular novels and graphic novels, watching anime, cooking, decorating and organizing everything, learning new facts,  and finding new music, sci-fi, or fantasy creations to obsess over.

    Overall, I’m just trying to live life to the fullest like everyone else. I’m sending good vibrations to everyone! I want us all to win, so keep fighting! Take care!


    Lilypie Maternity tickers



    I pretty much insta-add/follow back everyone unless your screen name has some kind of slur in it or something. Don’t be that person. -_-

    NNID: kerrian
    3DS Friend Code: 1693-6646-2394
    Steam: themoonrabbit



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☆彡 Before I watched My Girlfriend Is A Gumiho I kept hearing about how cute the main actor is (Lee Seung Gi), but I didn’t really see it. Now I’m seeing him in other Korean dramas…and he does look pretty cute. Bah! Now I feel like Ami from Sailor Moon because most of the time I’m really quiet and I always have my head in some type of book, but every once in a while I’ll develop questionable interests like unreasonably attractive idols and borderline perverted things. Yeah…….what’s that? You want some Lee Seung Gi pictures? Okay. 😀

…I’m still calling him Dae Woong though. I keep calling him Dae Woong the same way I keep calling Shin Minh Ah ‘Jade’ because that was her name in the American version of Volcano High. I do the same things with voice actors: “Is that Nier? Is that The Major? Is that Spike?” LOL! I have no intention of going by their real names anymore.

☆彡 As much as I love other geeks and nerds, the growing elitism in that social circle is annoying as fuck. Seriously, are we STILL complaining about pseudogeeks/pseudonerds? People being fake is just as timeless as people putting on a show to get attention. The pope is catholic, bears shit in woods, water is wet, etc. Just let it go. I don’t understand why any self-proclaimed geek/nerd would bother to separate from their obsessions to bash poseurs anyway. Like…when did geeks and nerds become the bullies? The world must really be ending! LOL. Anyway, that is my opinion on that Forbes article and the foolishness about “wannabes”. If someone is being fake to get attention then stop giving him/her attention. And if he/she gets attention or cash or grass or gas or ass from someone else, who cares? You didn’t fall for their act. Someone else did. Why are you getting offended? It’s not like poseurs are known to settle anyway. The moment something more popular comes along, they will pack up and move away. So relax. Give it time. Geeks/nerds will go from ‘chic’ to the pitiful underbelly of society once more. XD

☆彡 This is the best reaction to everything:

What are you doing?

What’s that?

What does that even mean?

Why aren’t you saying anything?

You’re such a bitch.

Ugh. Whatever.

And then I’ll just look at everything I have to do and be like:

And watch TV:

And play some games:

Reading a book:

Eat some delicious ramen:

Watch a movie:

The fuck kind of ending was that?

Whatever. Cat is harassing me. I guess he’s hungry.

What time is it? 3 am? I ain’t even tired.

I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

*turns on anime*

Then I’ll end up tired as fuck the next day but whatever I’ll probably do that shit again:

☆彡 I want to see The Hunger Games, but I want to finish the book first. I’m almost done! Got through 200 pages in two days. It’s that good! My favorite thing to do is read a book, imagine how everything looks, and then compare it to the movie interpretation. Sometimes I’ll get lucky and my imagination will match up with the movie. It doesn’t happen often though. The only movie that was spot on with my imagination was the first Harry Potter. That’s about it. I don’t mind. I find different interpretations to be interesting.

☆彡 Switching my major from game design to game art. Game art is more art and less programming. Art is my “thing”, you know? So it only makes sense. Besides, Mark is the programmer in our house. He does the codes and I do the visuals. If all goes well, I’ll be able to start in May. I’m really excited. I’m supposed to get a Macbook, Wacom Tablet, Photoshop, Maya, Microsoft Suite, and a bunch of other shit as a part of my school supplies. MADNESS. You can bet your ass that the moment I improve my skills I am going to start taking commissions on dA. The tuition is no joke. I need to freelance and sell art as much as possible. After I get my degree, I’m going to start applying to a shitload of gaming companies. They’re all looking for visual artists, to be honest, so I’m glad I made this major change before it was too late. I’m excited! It’s kind of mind-boggling to think that I may come out of this with the skill level of my favorite artists. Hopefully. Practice makes perfect.

☆彡 I found this really fun art challenge and I’m going to start on it. I know, I know, I always say that but I’m going to say it again.

I have tons of project ideas that I’d like to post to. Those will end up on my “official” blog…you know, the one that doesn’t involve my crazy thoughts and ramblings. That one. Notice how empty it is. It’s like comparing my mind to my productivity. Story of my life. Anyway, I need to draw. And finish THG. Mark said he wants to see it for his birthday, so I need to finish within the next three days.

And Happy Birthday, Mark! >_<

Sorry that I can’t get you the thing you deserve to get because our ecks bawks betrayed us. XD

*sigh* That’s about it. March sucked…much like January and February (LOL), so give me a break, April! In the words of Batiatus from Spartacus: “WHEN WILL THE GODS REMOVE COCK FROM ASS?!” (Spartacus is such a vulgar show. Like…it should be rated NC-99. Still watching. Lucy Lawless is in it. Are you kidding? Watching forever. :D)

Later. ♥

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☆彡 So…I took the I-Bet-I-Won’t-Cry-During-A-Korean-Drama challenge, and failed. My Girlfriend is a Gumiho caught me off guard. UGLY FACE CRYING LIKE A G.

☆彡 My 360 is broken! Seriously, look at this bullshit:

My life is over! *FALLS DOWN IN A SLOW CIRCLE AND DIES* Seriously, Mark and I got a good laugh about it because we thought Jensen was getting hacked in Deus Ex: Human Revolution. Then the system gave us an error screen and we started joking that Jensen caught a digital STD from an augmented hooker. Don’t ask. Either way, packing up the ecks bawks for repairs. I probably won’t be able to play it for…eh…I’m going to say three months. So, it’s just going to be my Wii and my PS2 for now. Bah. Just as I was progressing in Dark Souls too!


…Okay, I’m done. LMAO. This has been a fangirly week for me. Sorry. Mark is joking that I’m becoming a human girl as if I was some type of alien lifeform before. LOL! Speaking of Mark, we’re both pretty much set on a Korra and Mako cosplay. As much as we love the Barriss and Plo Koon idea we realized that (a)Korra and Mako are much easier to cosplay, and (b)it is going to be hot as sin at every convention we plan to attend this year. So a sleeveless shirt for me and short sleeves for Mark will do us much good. I really want to go as Impa at some point as well. Mark can go as Ghirahim. Fufufu~ XDD

☆彡 It looks like I’ll be starting my game design course at the end of April. I’m pretty excited! I’m also too scared to get excited because I don’t want to get my hopes up or be disappointed. *sigh* …Why am I this way? LOL. I guess the only thing left to do is tie up some loose ends. There is no time to second guess. I am heading towards my dream. No point in looking back or fretting about risks. From here on out it’s just me keeping my chin up, being brave, and kicking ass, right?

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☆彡 This whole running around getting transcripts, recommendation letters, applications, and other admission-related tasks gives me a headache. It’s so tedious. *sighs*  Well, nothing worth having is easy to acquire, right? It will pay off in the end. Yep…more paperwork it is.

☆彡 As much as I love RPG Maker, it agitates me at times that my ideas come much faster than my ability to make maps and events. I usually spend more time typing up my ideas in Word than I do putting those ideas into RPG format. So, I’ll end up with 20 pages of storyline, and about two minutes of RPG content. It’s my own fault. I should always work on the plot before I work on project. It makes me less impatient.

☆彡 Mark and I stopped by a gun shop. I have never been in a gun shop before until today. I felt…safe…as strange as that is to say. Well, maybe it isn’t so strange. The moment we walked in, the gun shop owner was speaking to another customer who is dealing with break-ins in his neighborhood. Like him, I hope to never have to use a gun on someone, but I’d feel better having one. Eventually, we had a long talk with the gun shop owner about the upcoming elections, the A-Team, doomsday, and the importance of the second amendment. It was an interesting discussion. Mark and I have a tendency to draw out these conversations out of people. I stopped wondering why. I just enjoy it. Either way, we’re going to start investing time in visiting shooting ranges and beginning our own gun collection. He wants to start with a pistol, and I want to start with a pistol. Sounds like a plan.

☆彡I know what I’m doing this weekend: reading, reading, and reading some more. I have four books of my own to finish, and then two books I borrowed from the library today. My brain will hate me, but it can deal with it. I still have those mp3 speakers that I haven’t used yet, so I’m going to play something relaxing while I read. I’m thinking either the Beatles or the Chrono Cross OST. Vielan Dank is also an excellent choice. Piano collections are always relaxing, and they just seem to “go with” reading…if that makes any sense.

☆彡 I want to learn Esperanto so badly…but I’m already busy language learning wise. I am brushing up on Latin as well as teaching myself Japanese. So, I guess I will have to put Esperanto aside for now. I must say, though, that the entire concept around it is very neat!

☆彡 Watching Mark get slapped around by the Capra Demon was…painful to watch. LOL. I’m not even close to the Capra Demon. I’m actually on my way to the Bell Gargoyles, so it’s a bit far from where I am. Honestly, I don’t even want to go that direction. I want to just go straight to Blight Town. I have so many things I want to do there. Speaking of Dark Souls, I can’t wait for the art book to come out at the end of the month. It’s going to be awesome!

Later (and happy weekend! ^^)  ♥

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☆彡 I finally spoke to an admissions representative from Full Sail University about the steps I should take within the next few months. *sigh* I don’t know how I feel. I guess the closest emotion I can relate to is relief. When I think about working in such a creative industry and someday brushing shoulders with fellow geeks/nerds, I think to myself: “Finally.” Long overdue!

☆彡Speaking of things that are long overdue, Mark and I finally got to hang out with Tiffa this week. I had a blast! And, as always, I laughed plenty. I really can’t wait until we can hang out again. Man…I should find a way to get Tiffa, Daniel, Brandon, Mark, and myself to all hang out together. Considering the headache I got from laughing too much with Tiffa and the headache I got from laughing to much with Daniel and Brandon, I think my head would explode from the combination of headaches. LOL

☆彡 I have always been fascinated by people like the Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama), Jesus Christ, Martin Luther King Jr., Mohandas Gandhi, and the Dalai Lama who responded to aggression with passiveness. They have been spat on, insulted, disrespected, pushed, punched, kicked, whipped, had rocks thrown at them, exiled, threatened, and some were assassinated by the very people they swore to love tirelessly. Some may hear about that and pity them, but I don’t. They should not be pitied. They should be admired for possessing a strength that is rarely acquired in this world. It is a common misconception that losing your temper takes strength, but anger is easy. Harming others is easy. It is so easy that animals can do it. Babies can do it. The intellectually challenged can do it. But to overcome anger, and even turn negative energy towards a positive goal…it is beyond admirable. It is respectable and beautiful at the same time. I have no intention of striving for the social standard of strength. Those standards were made by average people with average intelligence and average self-control. Even calling people like that  ‘average’ is being too generous. It really does take a lowly person to prey on others, and feel empowered by inflicting misery. I don’t strive to be a lowly or average. So, I don’t follow the ideals of those types of people. I want to be strong. I want to be peaceful. I want to constantly improve myself and improve the world around me, even if it gets me hated, laughed at, abused, or whatnot.

☆彡 I didn’t get any gaming done this weekend. I guess I just wasn’t in the mood. All that I wanted to do was sleep. Even then, I didn’t get much sleep because of Link. He’s so demanding! I feed him and play with him before I go to bed. Four hours later, he’s poking me in the face for more food and games. So I feed him and play. I go back to sleep. Then he decides to play: “Let’s trot across Kerri’s ribcage while she’s sleeping because it’s funny to watch her writhe in pain.” LOL. At the end of the day, he is a cat…and Mark and I are just his means of survival and entertainment. We are servants to his cuteness! Cats really are evil. Anyway, no gaming.

☆彡 Speaking of games, I ended up sacrificing Ashley instead of Kaiden. I like Ashley FAR more than Kaiden, but it was better to keep Kaiden in the end. One, I don’t need two tanks (I am a tank and so is Ashley). Two, Kaiden dying on Virmire is so…anticlimactic. When Ashley dies, she restores the honor that her family lost by being associated with the first human to surrender to the aliens. She dies with the comfort that her father and God are waiting for her in the end. Her death just seemed more right for the storyline. Kaiden, though, is still suffering from the torment he faced as a child. He is just learning to overcome it. To have him die on a Virmire as just “that guy with the biotics” seems a bit sad to me. I guess if  anyone in my party could become a Spectre in Mass Effect 3, I want it to be Kaiden. Then again, Ashley would restore honor to her family by becoming a Spectre too, but…man…this was not easy! It still isn’t! I am having choose-a-character-to-kill remorse. It is a tough call to make. *sigh* Well, it’s not the end of the world. The next time I replay (and I will replay), I am going to save Ashley. So, for now, I just have continue with this plot of mine and see if it was for the best. By the way, I am not having my Shepherd pursue a relationship with Kaiden. I guess my theme should give away who I’d like my Shepherd to pursue. Fufufu~ I adore Liara as a character, so I am not against them getting together. Sure, I would never get with an asari if I were in Mass Effect world, but I am not Shepherd. I control her and her choices, but I already have this mental picture of the type of person I want her to be…and she is not like me. Maybe I’ll make a Mary-sue Shepherd next time. LOL

☆彡 I am still working hard on Mythos, domain modifications, and my artwork. I am also starting a new RPG Maker project to practice for the Game Design program I want to attend. I’d like to focus on one project during the entire duration of courses. So, when I work on character development it will be characters from this project. When I work on storyline development it will be the storyline from this project. I’m sure you get my drift. Anyway…I have no idea where to begin. I’ve been so focused on Mythos for years that I kind of lost interest in making any other story.

☆彡 I’m ready to get my own house. -_-

☆彡 I received this really, really, really nice journal: 400 pages, acid-free paper, beautiful cover, and it’s just…it’s really pretty. I’m too afraid to write in it. LOL. Actually, I’ve been working on a list of things that I can use the journal for just so I can finally use the journal. It’s really silly. I should just write some random sentence in it to break the ice…but that would ruin it…and if I ruin a page then I have to rip it out…and if I rip it out then it falls apart. IT NEVER ENDS.

Later. ♥

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☆彡 It’s semi-official. I’m attending Full Sail University to get my Bachelor’s in Game Design. It’s an online 32-month course where I take one class per month. So, it’s pretty fast-paced. As soon as I complete the admissions process, I’ll get my launch box (mac book and a bunch of software for classes). I already did my 2012-2013 FAFSA, so I am set there. I want to tackle my admissions before May rolls around in order to start classes this fall. So…that’s my goal! Honestly, I am very excited. I’ve been researching my favorite game companies, and many of them are hiring game programmers/designers. I really want to work for Gearbox because they are AWESOME. Holy shit, they are awesome. Benefits for me and my family as soon as I walk through the door? Free Gearbox games? Free lunch everyday? Getting paid more money than I can spend to make video games? WHAAAAT? Yeah, I’m excited. LOL. I do expect the worst, but thinking about the bad constantly is not some type of foolproof method of handling life. It’s just…disheartening, you know? So, I’d rather think of positive things…like getting my dream career in the gaming industry. I can think about that all day.

☆彡Mark, Daniel, Brandon, and I have been going out to the movies recently. So far, we’ve seen Chronicles and Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, and it’s been a blast. The discussions we have after each movie are hilarious. I go home with a headache every time from laughing so much. We’re already talking about seeing The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises together…and dressing in Batman clothing to watch The Dark Knight Rises…so it’s going to be fun. And we’ve been playing some Phantasy Star Zero using the multiplayer mode, so I better start leveling up my character.

☆彡 I’m drawing with charcoal again. Messy, but fun. For some odd reason, I draw more realistic drawings with such a messy medium as opposed to a neat medium like pencils. I’m also following tutorials here and there to learn perspective drawings. So, it’s kind of safe to say that I am slowly but surely stepping away from my current habits (drawing anime-esque flat characters), and trying different things. Or, better yet, returning to different things…things I pretty much abandoned after HS art classes. Either way, it’s nice to try different things. Especially since I am growing so tired of my art style. I seriously hate it. I can’t even look at my own drawings anymore because I hate it that much.

☆彡 Not much progress in video games to be honest. As much as I adore the games in my current playlist (Skyward Sword, Dark Souls, Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 3, and Lost Odyssey), I’m just not in the mood to play them as of late. I am currently playing Mass Effect on and off to prepare myself for the third one…which I won’t get a hold of until months from now…and the girl at Gamestop (who had the most amazing yellow-green eyes I’ve ever seen in my life) pretty much had a meltdown with Mark and me over the fact that a prothean may join your party in a DLC. We also discussed which party member would be better: a hanar or an elcor. I vote elcor. Can you imagine one in your party? “Worried observation: Shit is about to hit the fan.”

☆彡 The car situation is still going. It is being repaired and bought to ‘like new’ condition by the insurance company, which is great, but we have to pay the deductible…and it is not cheap. LOL. I guess I’m not surprised. Insurances companies are businesses at the end of the day, and I didn’t see them towing, storing, and repairing our vehicle for free. And our deductible is far cheaper than the cost of everything, so, yeah. Nonetheless, IT NEVER ENDS. *flips desk*

☆彡 I tried this elbow pasta with laughing cow cheese recipe, and it is amazing! Look it up and try it! I left out the peas though…because Mark hates everything that is green minus asparagus and lettuce. LOL

☆彡 I have a lot of website-related things to do. Basically, I have to change my website from a personal domain to an online portfolio, revamp my domain blog for art-related updates only, create a logo/mascot, and…I believe that is it. The goal is to have something to put on my resume that I can show to future employers in the gaming industry. Eventually, all of my character designs, concept arts, renditions, and videos of game projects will be up there. Until that is all done, I have to do my best to master photoshop since I’ll be working with it soon enough. I have a 30-day trial from Adobe to play around with, and a program called GIMP that is supposed to be a free imitation of Photoshop. So play I shall!

☆彡 I love the whole concept of Biophilia. For one, it’s an entire album about physics. Sure, I suck at physics (LOL), but I still love it. Space, gravity, how matter interacts with matter — it’s super fascinating. It’s really neat that Bjork would make an entire album about it. Even more, she found a way to make her listeners interact with music. You not only listen, but you touch it and see it. I really wish I had an iPhone or iPad so I could download her app. I’d love to play along with the moon phases.

☆彡 I can’t believe my seven year old nephew beat Smash Brothers Brawl in less than a month. It took me like three months to get all of the characters. LOL! Then I was playing with him yesterday and I could not beat Wolf for the life of me. He beat Wolf in less than five minutes. I said damn! Mark and I think that he could probably beat Dark Souls in less than a week…where we are taking months. I know he can. He’s really good!

☆彡 I haven’t watched the new Super Sentai because I’m still sad about Gokaiger being gone.  Like…Super Sentai should have just ended after Gokaiger. *sigh* …I’ll give Gobusters a chance eventually, but I’m just skeptical.

☆彡It’s now $25 to adopt a neutered/spayed, vaccinated, FHIV tested, and microchipped cat from PetSmart. I’m so tempted! I seriously go every week to spend time with the cats there. I wish I could become an official crazy cat lady, and adopt them all. We did bring Link two weeks ago to see how he would react to the other cats, and was hissing and growling at them. Did not expect that at all because he’s very silent and friendly around the strays and the people who come over our place. The lady at PetSmart taught us how to make cats become used to one another though, so it should be fine. Link is just a little territorial right now. He’ll get over it in time.

☆彡 Random Conversation:

Me: “Liara haters don’t exist. You have people who love Liara, and people who choose to fight the fact that they love Liara.”
Mark: “I don’t really care for Liara–”
Mark: “:(”

Later. ♥

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☆彡 I finally started on Turn A Gundam. So far, it’s very good. I can’t stop laughing at the Turn A Gundam though. A Gundam with a mustache? Yeah, that’s going to take time to get used to.

☆彡 I am taking a break from drawing people. I want to focus on things like landscapes, inanimate objects, coloring techniques, buildings, weapons, armor, mechs, vehicles, and whatever else comes to mind. I’ve been trying so hard to separate from this anime style that I have, but my hand instantly does what my mind is used to. So, I’m going to draw things that my mind is not used to. Easy enough, eh?

☆彡 I have an everlasting pile of books I need to finish reading…and three more on the way from Amazon. They were great deals! $0.02 each! But…yeah…it is probably safe to say that I have a book problem.

☆彡 Lately I’ve been thinking about returning to college for art-related reasons. I’d like to take up a course that will get me up to date with the most trusted graphic design softwares, and also teach me other useful skills. Mark told me that most web design courses will teach me how to use art softwares for website graphics, so I might just get into that. It’ll also help me with designing my online portfolio, you know? I’ll see. I’m checking out several places right now, but I’m really liking Full Sail University.

☆彡 Three people I’ve known for a long time (two my entire life) are getting married. I’m so happy! Everyone is growing up so fast ;___;! But this means that I really have to get in shape, and do something about my terrible…everything. I don’t want any of the brides to get asked: “Who is that creature in row five?” LOL. So, as of now, I plan to do four things religiously: drink water, lift weights, wear masques, and take vitamins. Mostly weightlifting. It’s good to know that I won’t bulk up unless I take hormone-manipulating drugs, so I am lifting weights and strength training like a motherfucker. It’s one of my favorite things to do.

☆彡 I’ve decided to become a monk in Pathfinder. It took me centuries to decide…but I’ll be a monk. Now, on to the stat sheets and I’ll be set.

☆彡 Japanese is going along well, but I really don’t like kanji. SERIOUSLY WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF THEM. I read somewhere that it is also difficult for Japan natives to learn kanji too, so I guess I shouldn’t beat myself up too much about not catching on quickly. It’s funny. Every time Mark and I come across a manga or anime that isn’t translated, he turns to me and shouts: “WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?” Keep in mind that I’ve only been studying for a month, and I just barely understand spoken Japanese, hiragana, and katakana. LOL. Glad to know I’ll be of use to someone once I am fluent in Japanese though. Actually, I’d like to translate animes and mangas when I learn everything, so maybe I’ll help others too. 🙂

Later. ♥

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